Today, the 29th of October, is the birthday of the Statue of Liberty. It's 128 years old! Can you name anyone (anything) that has made so many people from all over the world smile as much as the Grand Lady who has done nothing but welcome the poor and huddled masses to our incredible country? She is a national symbol for us; a symbol recognized the world over as the beacon of hope in a crazy world. Tip your hat or raise a glass to her today; she deserves it!
And speaking of people from foreign lands, here's a quick one I heard that should make you smile for a minute.
Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot
tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what
we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious
Irishman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Irish accent
asked 'What might ye be sellin' here?'
One of the men answered sarcastically, 'We're selling assholes.'
Without skipping a beat, the Irishman replied 'You’re doing well ... only two left!'
Forgive me my sins! It's Halloween in a couple of days and I still haven't decided what to get dressed up as. Right now I'm leaning towards the "Casual Florida Tourist." I've got everything I need; I'll just have to wear black socks with my sandals.
Seriously (or not), I haven't even heard of a good Halloween party anywhere around me. I do live in a "55+"community, so the streets will be filled with the living dead just going back and forth to their mailboxes.And that will all be happening before it gets dark. As Laurence J. Peter once said "In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular." That's even more true here in the Sunshine State.
I saw a report today that said New England is going to get some snow this weekend. I know I'm repeating myself, but I do love watching it snow (on TV). Throw another fake log on the fake fireplace, dear!
With elections just around the corner, we all know in our hearts that nothing much is going to change. Whoever wins will blame everything bad on "THEM," and will claim to somehow be responsible for anything good that's happened while they were gone. Unfortunately, it will be business (oh thank you very much, BIG Business for the millions!) as usual, I'm afraid.
I just saw a funny meme on Facebook; it showed the Wicked Witch of the North (from the Wizard of Oz) and it proclaimed the movie as:
The Ultimate Chick Flick - Two Women Fighting Over a Pair of Shoes
It's amazing how you can see a movie fifty times but never see the irony!
Let's not forget the World Series! Oh, you already have? Yeah, me too; I have to admit I haven't watched much more than ten minutes of any game so far. I love baseball, but is anyone I know actively going crazy over this one?
A fine segue to a baseball joke. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there are men on base." This courtesy of Dave Barry.
My 11th generation great-grandmother, Mary Perkins Bradbury, was arrested, tried and convicted of witchcraft in the infamous Salem Witch Trials of 1692. She was never executed and died of natural causes a few years later. She was pretty pissed off about it, though, and still flies around every Halloween looking for Puritans. Don't dress up as a Pilgrim, whatever you do!
So let's wrap this up! At this point I've managed to offend Englishmen, Florida Tourists, Florida Retirees, New Englanders, Women Shoppers (or maybe all women), Baseball Purists, and Pilgrims. Sheesh! That's probably enough for now; I'd like to make it to the weekend to see the New England Patriots kick the Denver Broncos butts! Oh damn; now I have to add The Denver fans (and everyone else in America who hates the Patriots) to my list! I think I'm done!
Here's a little something for your Halloween bag. If you haven't had a chance to check out my book, Serpent's Curse, follow this link to a FREE sample.
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/1456c9f6ce6cc2b2
Mark
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