The truth of the matter is most people who tuned in last night were hoping to see a great game, but the halftime show and the commercials were the reason they were watching. If you weren't one of the hundred million people viewing the Super Bowl I can only ask you why not? What other event offers men crushing each other, great music and multi-million dollar ads? If you're still trying to come up with something, here's the answer: Nothing!
So, following my theory that a Super Bowl is a homogenous blend of entertainment not seen anywhere else, here's my Top10 Things to Know (please be advised that this list has not been approved, certified, kicked or beaten by anyone else but me, but for now, I'm claiming to be representative of the greater viewing public). Starting with a Letterman-like 10 through 1, here goes.
10) The game. Unless you are a diehard Seattle Seahawks fan, this game was the most boring game in years. Touted by all the pundits as the "Greatest Matchup Ever," the game would qualify for "Biggest Butt Kicking Ever." You may remember my Patriots getting similarly routed by the Bears in 1985, or John Elway's 45 point loss (relax Peyton, he was even worse in that game). They're on that list. My "MVP" of the game was the Seahawks Stifling Defense - incredible to watch!
9) Oikos Yogurt for their ad featuring John Stamos and the "spill" - Stamos may not look as great as Scarlett Johanssen, but he pulled it off better than ScarJo's Sodastream ad. Some network needs to step up and let Sodastream deliver their message without fearing retribution from Coke and Pepsi.
8) The "Cowboy Kid" - Can't go wrong with kids, the Lone Ranger and Doritos, right?
7) "Make Love, Not War" - Very cool ad by Axe showing the loving side of despicable despots.
6) Volkswagen's "Wings" - VW's typically enjoyable ad; perhaps not their best ever, but memorable. And in my own personal contest, it beat the trunks off the Go Daddy ad featuring a photo-shopped Danica Patrick running with a bunch of musclebound guys. Yuck!
5) "Wonderful Pistachios" with Stephen Colbert - Totally unexpected finish; loved it!
4) Budweiser's "Puppy Love" and "Coming Home" - excellent formats for both of these; puppies, Clydesdales and heroes. I can't decide which was bettter, so I'm giving this spot to both.
3) KIA's "Truth" - you had to love this one, unless you hated the "Matrix" (or never saw it because you were under the same rock you were hiding beneath when you chose not to watch the game).
2) Chrysler's Bob Dylan ad - Okay, I'm a child of the 60's, and there might have been something you liked a lot more, but hey, it was Bob Dylan, for God's sake! I actually thought the car manufacturers had a lot of quality ads; Jaguar (British Villains), Maserati (Strike), Audi (Doberhuahua) and even Ford (Double) all produced some strong contenders. The car industry was clearly the overall winner by category.
1) The Bruno Mars/Red Hot Chili Peppers Halftime Show - I've always been a Chili Peppers fan, but I didn't know too much about Bruno Mars (I'm not supposed to; I'm too old, I think). Their performance was spectacular, from Mars' opening drum solo to his group's costumes and moves, and then into the mix where they collaborated on the Chili's big number, "Give It Away." I doubt that I'm in the minority when I say that Bruno Mars gets an "A" for this "Game Saving Play!"
Honorable Mentions: Cheerios "Gracie" - M&M's Peanut - Bud Light - Toyota's Muppets
Epic Fails: Coca-Cola (both ads- because we expect more) - Pepsi Halftime (ditto) - David Beckham Underwear (for me, at least) - the aforementioned GoDaddy (whatever the hell that was supposed to be!).
Here's a link for most of the commercials: www.huffingtonpost.com/…2/super-bowl-commercials...
You are now free to roam the cabin and kick the writer! Leave me a comment below with your thoughts on the game.See you next time!
Mark T. Bradbury, Author
Literary Associate of Little Pond Publishing
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