I promised you all last week that I would return to a lighter menu in my blog, so here goes. Any and all attempts at humor in this article are intentional, whether newsworthy or not, and you may hold me fully responsible for my efforts to make you smile.
At the end of my article last week, I tried to lighten it up a bit with a couple of jokes. Hopefully, you enjoyed them. I originally had chosen three, but decided not to post the third one, as a matter of good taste. But then ... It was about two cannibals eating a clown, and one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" There, I did it; I think I see Darth Vader at my window beckoning me to the Dark Side!
Seriously (or not), there's always something funny going on in our world if you want to experience a happy face. I know that many of you who read my blog are from regions north of Florida, and you've all suffered an incredibly brutal winter. While you've been getting snow and freezing winds, our temps in Florida dipped into the high forties yesterday morning. The high was only around 60* with strong gusty winds.
That was more than enough to force some of the local women into getting their fur-lined boots out for one more brutally cold sixty degree day. I understand it's a fashion statement, but fur-lined boots in Florida? Realizing that I might be missing a chance to make a statement of my own, I swapped out my flip-flops for a nice snugly pair of boat shoes (without socks, of course), but not one person looked at me funny, which was probably because I was in Wal-Mart. You know how some people dress there, right?
My niece had a post in Facebook yesterday stating that she has a monster living in her house who eats rolls of Scotch tape. I instantly assumed she was talking about her cat "Binx," notorious for not always being polite. My cousin responded that she has one (monster) that eats socks, as did someone else who responded.
And there it was! One of America's biggest unspoken villains; the Sock Monster! Forget Bigfoot and Nessie; the Sock Monster is Number One on my list of creatures we could all do without. How many of us have been forced to throw away a perfectly good sock, only to find its mate six months down the road in a totally weird place? Don't tell me you haven't; I won't believe you. Everybody falls victim to this insatiable beast at one time or another (Tip: see above, as in don't wear any). I think somebody important needs to initiate an immediate investigation to help shed some light on this; perhaps a joint committee of our esteemed Congressmen. This might be something they could all agree on (oh my!) and actually get something done before the elections (unless you're counting beating the hell out of each other as an accomplishment).
For those of you up North bored by the long cold winter, here's a story about a real monster. The photo below is a shot of a Florida Atlantic University student, who, along with some friends, spent an hour and thirty minutes landing this massive 14-foot long hammerhead shark recently from a Boca Raton beach. The shark was estimated to be around 700 pounds. After a couple of photos and a measurement, the fish was released back into the ocean alive and well. The dorsal fin alone appears to be about 3 feet long; now that's a big fish!
Continue the "March Madness," don't forget "Opening Day"
(baseball) in the next few days, and may the sun shine on you wherever you are!
Have a great week!
As always, please share this to your timelines or forward to your friends if you enjoy. Thanks!
Mark T. Bradbury, Author
Literary Associate of Little Pond Publishing
At the end of my article last week, I tried to lighten it up a bit with a couple of jokes. Hopefully, you enjoyed them. I originally had chosen three, but decided not to post the third one, as a matter of good taste. But then ... It was about two cannibals eating a clown, and one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" There, I did it; I think I see Darth Vader at my window beckoning me to the Dark Side!
Seriously (or not), there's always something funny going on in our world if you want to experience a happy face. I know that many of you who read my blog are from regions north of Florida, and you've all suffered an incredibly brutal winter. While you've been getting snow and freezing winds, our temps in Florida dipped into the high forties yesterday morning. The high was only around 60* with strong gusty winds.
That was more than enough to force some of the local women into getting their fur-lined boots out for one more brutally cold sixty degree day. I understand it's a fashion statement, but fur-lined boots in Florida? Realizing that I might be missing a chance to make a statement of my own, I swapped out my flip-flops for a nice snugly pair of boat shoes (without socks, of course), but not one person looked at me funny, which was probably because I was in Wal-Mart. You know how some people dress there, right?
My niece had a post in Facebook yesterday stating that she has a monster living in her house who eats rolls of Scotch tape. I instantly assumed she was talking about her cat "Binx," notorious for not always being polite. My cousin responded that she has one (monster) that eats socks, as did someone else who responded.
And there it was! One of America's biggest unspoken villains; the Sock Monster! Forget Bigfoot and Nessie; the Sock Monster is Number One on my list of creatures we could all do without. How many of us have been forced to throw away a perfectly good sock, only to find its mate six months down the road in a totally weird place? Don't tell me you haven't; I won't believe you. Everybody falls victim to this insatiable beast at one time or another (Tip: see above, as in don't wear any). I think somebody important needs to initiate an immediate investigation to help shed some light on this; perhaps a joint committee of our esteemed Congressmen. This might be something they could all agree on (oh my!) and actually get something done before the elections (unless you're counting beating the hell out of each other as an accomplishment).
For those of you up North bored by the long cold winter, here's a story about a real monster. The photo below is a shot of a Florida Atlantic University student, who, along with some friends, spent an hour and thirty minutes landing this massive 14-foot long hammerhead shark recently from a Boca Raton beach. The shark was estimated to be around 700 pounds. After a couple of photos and a measurement, the fish was released back into the ocean alive and well. The dorsal fin alone appears to be about 3 feet long; now that's a big fish!
Continue the "March Madness," don't forget "Opening Day"
(baseball) in the next few days, and may the sun shine on you wherever you are!
Have a great week!As always, please share this to your timelines or forward to your friends if you enjoy. Thanks!
Mark T. Bradbury, Author
Literary Associate of Little Pond Publishing
Digital Publisher | eBooks | Marketing
For information on my eBook, Serpent's Curse, please follow the link:
Serpent's
Curse should be available as a paperback from Amazon.com by 4/1/2014.
Here's your chance to buy it if you haven't already! Sorry for the
delay!
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